Imagine that an interview for your dream job is going swimmingly, until…the hiring manager makes an ageist comment. Should you say something?
This week I read a post on Elpha, a forum for women in tech, that presented just this situation. The early-50s writer relayed that during an interview at a company with employees primarily in their 20s and 30s, she was asked the year she began graduate school. After she answered, the hiring manager said, “That was a really long time ago.” Woah. On Elpha, the candidate asked others for their reactions, and later updated the post with how she followed up.
Obviously, it was an ageist comment and the company was—at best—barely skirting the law. But should the candidate address it directly?
In this case, she followed up with an email. Instead of lashing out, she pointed out that her length of experience actually made her especially qualified for the job. She also addressed common biases against older candidates, saying, “I can handle any everyday technical challenge, and I’m fast.” She gently addressed the issue but also used it as a springboard to elevate herself.
I thought this was very smart. Other commenters thought it aggressive.
When should one speak up in a situation like this? In a perfect world, the answer would be, Always. Unfortunately, we live in a more complicated than perfect world. Some questions to ask yourself:
Can you afford for the interaction to go badly?
The stakes are high. If the candidate desperately needs the job, she may not be able to risk the confrontation. This is reality, especially when gaining employment for those over 50 is inherently difficult.
Can you do it in a way that actually creates change?
I liked that she responded with an email rather than addressing the conversation immediately in the interview. This allowed the hiring manager to have some time and space, hopefully, to consider his response and prevent it from happening again. Most people do not like to be corrected, and doing so in a more indirect way was a good choice. A delayed response also allows the sender to address the situation thoughtfully, rather than reactively.
Can you use it as an opportunity?
We tend to be afraid to address age and length of experience during an interview because we don’t want to call attention to it, lest we find ourselves shut down by an ageist hiring manager. However, we all know experience hones soft skills, which ultimately can be extremely valuable for a team. In this situation, since age was brought up (however wrongly), why not go for it and point out the benefits?
Will you be able to move beyond this?
Now imagine you are offered the role. Can you put the interview behind you? The temptation is to think, “Well, I wouldn’t want to work with someone like this.” (And several commenters on Elpha expressed this.) If that’s truly the case, your efforts may be wrongly placed.
The plot twist
A day later, the candidate added a final update: The hiring manager had responded! I was pleasantly surprised at the answer. He said, “If anything, your age is a pro—not a con. I feel XXX hires too many inexperienced people out of college, and I prefer working with people who have real world experience.”
He went on to explain where he felt she hadn’t shined in the interview, provided her more context, and offered an additional meeting. She rightly noted that had she not followed up, she most likely would not have been given that additional chance. Also, the interaction demonstrated productive team dynamics for problem resolution.
Sometimes an ageist gaff can have a happy ending. Think of it as putting your own emotional intelligence to work, demonstrating how you can stand up to bias, while maintaining collegiality. In my book, you’d be an asset to any team.