This week Kieran Snyder, CEO at Textio, posted a cringy-in-a-good-way thread on Twitter about ageism in tech. Over the years she’s heard countless engineers use the phrase, “So easy even your mom can learn it.” At first, she had not thought much about it. Eventually, she’d come to realize that this phrase is incredibly demeaning, and the thread goes on to explain how prevalent ageism is in tech and why it must be addressed.
I very much appreciate that Snyder not only updated her thinking but also has taken the proactive step of calling ageism out publically.
Want to quickly understand how the engineers’ seemingly innocent phrase is so ageist? Snyder suggests inserting the word woman for mom. “So easy even a woman can learn it?” Wow! Our sensibilities would find that phrase outrageous, totally unacceptable. Using the word mom is actually a two-fer slam, demeaning for both age and gender.
I am reading Ashton Applewhite’s excellent book, “This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism,” and I will admit to feeling humbled to learn that some language I’ve either used or been OK with actually furthers ageism. These are words I’ve used with the best intentions–the argument one could even make of those engineers mentioned above–but were actually ageist. (Check out Applewhite’s clever website, Yo, Is This Ageist, where readers can submit inquiries about whether language, graphics, or attitudes are actually ageist.)
For example, I’ve advocated both in writing and at speaking events that job seekers can strive to become ageless. My intention was to show that once you create a professional relationship, no one is thinking about your age. You are just you. A colleague, not an age. But Applewhite points out that ageless actually connotes a desire to not seem old, as if being old is something to be ashamed of. There’s truth in that.
Applewhite also says the phrase, for his/her age, is ageist because it signals admiration for people who look younger than their age, or who are still accomplishing things that younger people do. Guilty as charged! Even within the last week I’ve exclaimed, “Wow, Jane Fonda looks amazing for 82.” And true confession: Periodically when I close the Safari tabs that have accumulated on my iPhone, I notice a common search phrase I’ve used: How old is [fill in actor’s name]. No doubt the search result is usually followed by a gasp: “[fill in actor’s name] sure looks great for [number the search result showed]!”
The old phrase “age is just a number,” is kind of true: No age is good or bad, no age should look one way or another.
All this is especially top-of-mind for those who happen to work in startups and tech, a sector dominated by young employees, where age disparity is particularly apparent and ageism is overt. In this environment, cleaning up the way we talk about age (or rather, to stop talking negatively about age) is a baby step towards eliminating ageism.
In her thread, Snyder pointed out a truth that most of us over 50 are well aware of: Every single young person will “grow” into the demographic where they will be subject to ageism. Unless we put a stop to it before they get there. That’s the work world I envision for my children. And I’m smart enough, “even as a mom,” to believe that can happen.