As the eldest child in my family, I was raised to be responsible. This served me well in my career. As a writer, it would be unthinkable to miss a deadline. And most companies I’ve worked for have had goal-setting processes—working hard to achieve these goals motivated me. All that fell apart, though, when I began working for myself. Turns out my sense of responsibility is to others. When I became responsible only to myself, things fell apart. That’s when I found an accountability partner. It changed everything.
What is an accountability partner?
It’s a person (or app) with whom you share your plans or goals and then report back on how you have executed these. If you work for a company, you may already have a built-in accountability partner—your manager. Goal-setting processes are well established in most mature companies. But even if you have goal-setting in place at work, you may have other areas of your life that you want to move forward in.
When do you need a partner?
A few circumstances are ripe for accountability partner setups. My own situation—working alone—is classic. If you’re an independent contractor, a sole proprietor, or a consultant, you can manufacture accountability through a partner.
If you work for an early-stage startup, the company may be super lean, and goal or OKR processes may not yet be in place. Create your own.
Even if you work for a company with these processes, you may have goals outside of work that would benefit from accountability. A classic: exercise or health. My husband and I have established a habit of working out together. Many days, one of us will say afterward, “I really didn’t feel like it today.” Having a partner was enough push to move forward.
I have had a few accountability partners in the years I have worked independently. The most consistent partnership is a friend from very early in my career. Decades later, we found we were both solopreneurs missing collegial motivation, and we scheduled a regular call. Now, at the beginning of each quarter, we put our goals in writing. Then each week we check in to share how we’re doing.
Over the years, and with a few different partners, I’ve learned a few things that help the accountability work effectively:
Demonstrate your commitment to the process. When you or your partner repeatedly don’t show up, you may have mismatched priorities. Of course, there will be times with conflicts arise. But a consistent pattern of not showing up is a red flag that accountability is more important to one than another.
Be open to change. As an example, I began with annual goals but found the timespan was too cumbersome. Instead, my partner and I switched to quarterly, which made us more nimble. We’ve each also experimented with a variety of formats or structures for the goals.
Allow for some personal chat time. Trust is important in any partnership, and if you can spend a little time in each call connecting, you’ll not only deepen your relationship but will strengthen your commitment to your goal-setting process.
Be supportive when goals aren’t met. Falling short will happen. And it can be tempting to think that accountability means holding feet to the fire. Sure, some people respond to the threat of scolding. But most of us do better with support when we fail. See yourself as a cheerleader, not a drill sergeant. You can ask nonjudgmental questions about what got in the way. You can help your partner revise goals. Ultimately, support moves both of you forward.
Where to find a partner
Sometimes your accountability partner choice is obvious: Look to your personal or work circles for someone in a similar situation or with a similar challenge. Who has signaled that they may benefit from this?
Hiring a coach is a more expensive option but means you can tailor your coach’s expertise to your needs. Executive coaches are trained in accountability, and loads of people report that having a fitness coach is a game-changer. A mastermind group is a variation on this theme, and most formats for masterminds include accountability. And the fact that you’re paying for any of these services can be very motivating.
Finally, “there’s an app for that.” Check out online services like Supporti, which matches you with a partner for a week at a time. For a different approach, StickK calls itself a commitment platform. Decide on a goal (e.g. exercising, quit smoking, or anything custom), then put some money on the line. If you don’t keep your commitment, you lose your money—given to a “friend, foe, charity or anti-charity” you name in advance. You can also specify support people who receive emails on your progress.
Being stuck is demoralizing and means you’re not meeting your potential. Making progress is satisfying and motivating. An accountability partner can mean the difference.
Photo by Anna Shvets from Pexels