This isn’t your first rodeo. In fact, you have decades of work experience behind you, and over these years you have seen many things fail. Today, your young team is discussing a new strategy that you can clearly see won’t work. You’re ready to shoot down the idea. But you stop yourself.
Are you becoming “that person,” the one who sees every flaw with every idea, squashing innovation? Gaining a reputation as a contrarian isn’t good for your career, nor for productive collaboration.
This scenario is especially common in tech, where teams tend to be younger and older managers are in the minority, but it can happen in any setting. And it’s not always related to age. Sometimes you just know intuitively that an idea won’t work.
With some thoughtful consideration, though, it is possible to see possible problems yet maintain a collaborative–and ultimately positive–approach. These three strategies can allow you to voice what you see as problematic, while maintaining a respectful and productive conversation.
Examine your resistance.
Joanie Muench, a Certified Gallup Strengths coach and team facilitator, suggests first acknowledging and assessing your own negative reaction. What is bringing up your resistance? Will the idea negatively impact the project or just bring up negative feelings from past projects in you? Then, “Be curious and connect,” she says. “What is motivating the others’ excitement about the idea? Find a way to connect and share in the excitement.”
Ask questions to elicit a deeper–and not personal–exploration.
Mark Hamilton, an encore career coach, advises taking “I” out of the conversation, and then moving to questions. “I avoid words like you and me. I assume common goals and shared work plans, even if others don’t,” he says. Hamilton also favors probing via questions, which can elicit the thought required, without inserting an opinion that “belongs” to you as an adversary. He will use questions like: What’s important in all of this for us? What does success look like? How would you frame goals and key work plans for a new team member? What assumptions are we making? What additional information is important? What risks are consequential and likely? What else do we need to think about to be successful?
Help others be ready to hear your opinion.
Executive Coach Jackie Sloan, MCC, is also a proponent of using questions, as well as not foisting opinions upon others in a way they’re not open to. “It’s important to keep in mind that people often ignore ‘uninvited’ advice,” she says. “If you want to be heard, look to see how you can become invited to share what you really think.” This can be done by simply asking your teammate if they were interested in exploring a thought or idea you have. She also advises clarifying the meeting structure. Some meetings can be structured to allow time for candid feedback and discussion. And there might be meetings especially convened to take a thorough look at a decision the team is about to make, with various people assigned due diligence.
Remember, playing the experience card can occasionally be a cover for hubris. It’s also possible the proposed idea could work this time. The world, the market, it’s all changing faster than ever before. What was true before may no longer be true. We all need to open to this possibility.
In any case, approaching the conversation in a manner that promotes dialog rather than squashes it is almost always the answer. No matter what the outcome.