This week I learned a big lesson the hard way. It’s a simple flip of a script that reduces stresses and strengthens leadership: “Assume positive intent.”
I was no stranger to the concept. In fact, I first heard this phrase almost 10 years ago. PepsiCo CEO Indira Nooyi was asked by Fortune magazine about the best leadership advice she’d ever received. At the time her response—“Whatever anybody says or does, assume positive intent”—felt counter-cultural and a little naive to me. Wouldn’t that lead to being taken advantage of? This week, though, I experienced why it is so important.
My lesson
I was hiring a van lines company for a long-distance move and found myself stymied by conflicting information and questionable practices. (The U.S. government even has a website specifically about how to avoid moving company fraud. I clearly was not alone.) I called a friend who recently completed a move like mine to ask for advice. She responded, “Just assume they’re going to rip you off somehow…you just won’t know how.” That felt correct.
However, at every turn, I was on the defensive, paranoid even. With every unanswered phone, I imagined my mover was a scam operation that took my deposit and closed up shop. Every cost estimate had me imagining they would ambush me later with a surprise increase.
What actually happened? We were quoted a fair price, based on other estimates. The estimate became the actual price, as quoted. The movers came when they said they would. They worked efficiently and carefully. In short, everything went as promised.
Did my defensive posture benefit me? Definitely not. Instead, I manufactured a great deal of needless stress. I wish I had instead approached this with Indira Nooyi’s mindset, with just an ounce of caution thrown in.
The business application
In the workplace, “Assume positive intent” can be liberally applied to team interactions. It’s a posture that prevents you from taking personally decisions or moves that feel aimed directly at you but are not. A corollary to “Assume positive intent” commonly used in the tech world is Hanlon’s razor: “Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.” It’s just another way to say, don’t take it personally.
Admittedly, it’s challenging to assume positive intent when an action or feedback appears to be an attack or an undermining. The trick is to not react immediately. Instead, thank them for the feedback and ask clarifying questions. This neutralizes the conversation.
Not only does not taking things personally remove a layer of stress, it frees your brain from negative thoughts that can stifle ideation, creativity, and problem-solving. You and your team can work together, rather than against each other.
On a larger scale, I believe corporate cultures, including in tech, have become less defensive over the decades of my career. Companies have moved away from idolizing a cut-throat and distrustful business stance and evolved towards a “Blue Ocean” and abundance mindset.
I wish I’d saved myself some stress and approached hiring movers with more generosity. But with the lesson fresh on my mind, I’m determined to assume positive intent the next time I run into conflict. It’s more efficient and more effective. And it just feels better.