Perhaps the most painful phrase I hear from people my age is, “I’m not good with technology.” It’s painful because I don’t believe it, and because it works against them. I don’t mean to say everyone is equally innately talented at using technology. There’s a spectrum, like any other inborn tendency. For example, some people are inclined towards language, not math (like me). Some are inclined towards tech, some not (also me). But I can do algebra when needed, and you can do tech.
Is tech-comfort generational? Sure, there’s the term “digital native.” Growing up using technology is a “privilege” (i.e. gives you a natural advantage), but I don’t think this is the most important factor in tech comfort. I asked my 18-year-old if any of his peers would say, “I’m not good with technology.” He was quick to answer, “Absolutely!” He gave me an example of a good friend who refuses to update apps and often has to be helped with something the rest are doing…or she opts out from doing it.
A few things I’ve observed can be key to embracing technology and making the most of what it has to offer—especially for olders.
Slow down and take a breath
The single most important factor being comfortable with tech is not getting wound up (which is, admittedly, harder for certain personalities). A quote from Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance comes to mind almost daily, an instruction in a fictional assembly manual: “Assembly of Japanese bicycle require great peace of mind.” This is everything! Exasperation clouds clear thinking. Take a breath. Then take a step back. What are you trying to accomplish, from a high level? Then gradually move forward. When you notice yourself getting newly exasperated, pull back again. And take a breath.
Find a neutral helper
One of my favorite startups, Teeniors, pairs teens with seniors to help with tech needs. The founder told me that a senior client was crying with gratitude after one of her sessions. She explained that this was the first time someone had helped her without getting angry or judgmental. If your kids or partner show frustration or judgment when helping you, or if tech support or coworkers are rolling their eyes, you need to find another helper.
Dismiss your own judgmental scripts
Silently slighting yourself erodes confidence, so notice when you do this. Know that no one, no matter their age, gets things right every time when using tech. Trying different things when you hit a roadblock is part of using any product. It doesn’t mean you’re bad at it. Change the script to, “I can figure out anything,” or “I’m learning something here.” An auxiliary tip: When you do figure something out, write it down in a place where you can refer back to it. I have a “manual” I created for myself on how to upload files to each book distributor, for future reference.
Look for patterns
Notice that most websites and apps are designed in similar ways, often with graphic cues. Login is almost always in the top right corner. If you already have an account, sign in is usually below sign up, in smaller type. A carrot means there’s a drop-down menu underneath, three dots mean “look here for more options,” the little “i” means a tooltip with help will pop up. When you notice a pattern, bookmark that in your brain for future recognition.
Commit to password systems
Finally, a more tactical tip: if you make one change, “solve” your password life. Forgotten passwords or security measures can be among the most frustrating tech fails. Thank security, rather than cursing it. If you can be fully committed to and meticulous about your passwords, you will be preventing a world of hurt. The easiest approach to this is to invest in a password manager like LastPass or 1Password. Then learn to use it. Research best practices for password management. If you can make peace with passwords, you will save yourself a world of hurt.
There is no turning back on technology. In fact, its rate of change will only increase exponentially going forward. If you can’t make friends with it, your frustration levels will also increase exponentially. Worse, you will be left to the side of tools that would have changed your life and perhaps even have saved your life.