Biz Stone’s CV include some bigger-than-life accomplishments, including co-founder roles at Twitter and Medium. This week during a fireside chat at the Startup Grind Global Conference, he detailed his career trajectory. In response, Startup Grind founder Derek Anderson quipped, “Well, it seems like you just know how to pick your friends.” Because every career jump was with someone Stone already knew.
To underscore this, Stone related that when he was thinking of leaving Google to team up with Jack Dorsey, he wondered if it was wise. He then reminded himself, “Did I move to California to work at Google? Or did I move to California to work with people like Jack?” Stone is proof that the people you surround yourself with are often the door to your next opportunity.
The maxim, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with,” taps into this truth. Author and motivational speaker Jim Rohn coined this, meaning that the people you surround yourself with matter. Rohn was talking about the standards of your work and your life. But it also applies to opportunities. The superstars around you are going to be magnets for opportunities—opportunities offered to them and those they create. If you’re in their orbit, you get pulled along, too.
During the fireside chat, Stone said he has a couple of criteria for the type of people he wants to surround himself with: people he likes and people he can learn from. That’s a winning combination because it’s self-curating. People you like will generally be healthy, generous, and kind individuals. They’re people who make you feel good to be around. People you can learn from are smart in a way that you value and that causes you to grow. They tend to have brilliant and original ideas.
What about your spouse?
Your life partner is most likely in your “top five,” even if he/she is in another field. Author and marketer Ryan Holiday has said that the most undervalued business decision in anyone’s life is their choice of life partner. In “The Perfect Spouse Is the Best Life Hack No One Told You About,” he says his relationship with his wife has accelerated nearly everything he’s done in business.
Does this mean you need to set about purposefully pruning your circle of loved ones, friends and colleagues? No. That’s too transactional. You may have little control over the people you work with. And different types of people offer different benefits. However, there are several ways you can be more intentional about those you surround yourself with, without being phony. And they are proven ways to attract opportunity.
Honest networking create opportunities
It’s commonly believed that up to 70% of all job opportunities are not advertised, and 85% of all jobs are filled through networking. We can assume, then, that they are filled by people who were already connected in some way to the opportunity. Networking can seem shallow, self-serving, and awkward. It’s not, when done right. When you apply Biz Stone’s criteria, it’s just putting yourself around people you like and people you can learn from. And chances are the relationship is reciprocal, mutually beneficial. Otherwise, it’s not a real relationship.
Social media can be done right
Contrary to common belief, it IS possible to make meaningful connections via social media. This just takes thoughtful care and feeding. I’ve read plenty of testaments of people who have received job offers directly from people they’ve created a relationship with on Twitter. Facebook groups and LinkedIn groups, for those who are active, do the same. Clubhouse may also be well on its way to establishing itself as another place to create bona fide relationships.
You are what you read
What you learn through reading is equivalent to what you learn in conversation with colleagues or friends. There’s so much content online, and if you curate your reading to be high quality, you are setting your mind up for creating your own high-quality opportunities. One could translate Stone’s criteria to reading like this: Surround yourself with ideas that spark interest and that help you learn.
Put yourself where you’ll intersect
Author and entrepreneur Tim Ferriss famously notes that one of his first big breaks came from hanging out in the press room at CES, helping and chatting it up with the staffer there. Unbeknownst to Ferriss, she was the wife of Robert Scoble, a Silicon Valley legend and influencer. The relationship he initiated resulted serendiptously in a very important introduction. But it was because he took the initiative to put himself in the situation with generosity and goodwill.
Will your efforts pay off? There’s no way to know. Stone pointed out that when he left Google to start Twitter, Jack Dorsey wasn’t THE Jack Dorsey. He was just a very smart guy who Stone liked. Almost certainly, your own best opportunities are ahead. But you’ll only recognize them in hindsight. In the meantime, have faith. What’s the worst that can happen? You will have spent your days surrounded by smart people you like. Sounds like a life well-lived to me.